I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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