you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
