so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
