just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
