Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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