I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
