What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
