She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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