Dude my mom stole all your condoms
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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