quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
