Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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