it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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