You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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