oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
