Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
