I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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