Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
