Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
