actually, I'm a sock model
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
