how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
