It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
