is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
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one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
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He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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