Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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