Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
