Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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