I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
