Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize