She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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