I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize