Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
