after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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