So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
