You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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