As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
