Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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