Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
