i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
4 words: hood of his car
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
