i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize