I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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