i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize