Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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