It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize