You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
