Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize