I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Randomize
