what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
