I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
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He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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