dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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