he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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