And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
