just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I love you. Go after that dick
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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