Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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  (203): i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA http://tfl.nu/d77g
  Replies (14) Good night (4619) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block

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  (302): remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block http://tfl.nu/55sp
  Replies (14) Good night (427) Bad night (1851) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis

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  (901): Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis http://tfl.nu/d468
  Replies (46) Good night (4576) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.

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  (718): i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined. http://tfl.nu/aopw
  Replies (67) Good night (596) Bad night (4434) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.

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  (631): So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that. http://tfl.nu/a0qi
  Replies (11) Good night (3503) Bad night (1014) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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  (780): We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna http://tfl.nu/yjmv
  Replies (14) Good night (1626) Bad night (4256) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season

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  (573): The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season http://tfl.nu/ewwq
  Replies (37) Good night (1612) Bad night (9150) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.

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  (321): I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it. http://tfl.nu/0ggm
  Replies (37) Good night (13194) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka

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  (985): I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka http://tfl.nu/h91z
  Replies (10) Good night (2246) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.

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  (716): For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st. http://tfl.nu/kimy
  Replies (6) Good night (1894) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.

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  (813): We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing. http://tfl.nu/09y7
  Replies (4) Good night (1715) Bad night (542)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.

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  (740): I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face. http://tfl.nu/v2r4
  Replies (13) Good night (1826) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.

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  (701): Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem. http://tfl.nu/jbpn
  Replies (9) Good night (2084) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"

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  (323): He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best" http://tfl.nu/tw6h
  Replies (3) Good night (1152) Bad night (285) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.

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  (832): You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life. http://tfl.nu/rg4t
  Replies (3) Good night (1021) Bad night (400)

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