I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
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What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down