I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
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I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.