I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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