my mouth tastes like poor choices
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
