Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
