We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
