how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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